{"id":188,"date":"2013-07-13T09:00:27","date_gmt":"2013-07-13T14:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/disabilityinkidlit.wordpress.com\/?p=188"},"modified":"2020-11-04T16:58:13","modified_gmt":"2020-11-04T16:58:13","slug":"popping-pills-mental-illness-medications-in-ya-and-why-they-matter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/disabilityinkidlit.com\/test\/2013\/07\/13\/popping-pills-mental-illness-medications-in-ya-and-why-they-matter\/","title":{"rendered":"Popping Pills: Mental Illness Medications in YA and Why They Matter"},"content":{"rendered":"

About a year ago, I was in the hospital.<\/p>\n

I remember hoping I\u2019d be out by the 4th<\/sup> of July so my family could celebrate the holiday at home, instead of staying in some cramped hotel room near the psych ward so they could visit me. Through group therapy and visits with the ward\u2019s psychiatrist, I was on best behavior. (I was, in fact, out by the 4th<\/sup>.) I remember the overwhelming guilt and shame I felt at ending up in the hospital in the first place. If I\u2019d been strong, I wouldn\u2019t have needed help. If I\u2019d been strong, I could have made the horrible thoughts of hurting myself, and hurting others, go away. If I\u2019d been strong, I wouldn\u2019t have needed the medications that the nurses handed me with little Dixie cups full of water twice daily. If I\u2019d been strong. <\/i><\/p>\n

My bipolar I disorder, and my obsessive-compulsive disorder: before my fateful two-hour drive to the emergency room in the closest big city with a psych ward, I believed these things were weaknesses to be eliminated by sheer force of will. Pills were for pussies, I told myself. Which was why, prior to the hospital stay, I had slowly been reducing my dose of Risperdal, the primary medication that managed my terrifying manic highs, without telling anyone, until I was hardly taking anything at all. The two or three months I managed to get by on the reduced dose were enough to convince me: My psychiatrist is lying. I don\u2019t need medication. I\u2019m fine. I can beat this.<\/em> Until, of course, I couldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s taken me months to get my medications stabilized, but it\u2019s happened, and I\u2019m happier and healthier now than I\u2019ve been since I was fifteen years old. But, looking back, I can\u2019t help but wish that I\u2019d been able to come to terms with the \u201cweakness\u201d of taking the medication I need to be well sooner. And it\u2019s hard not to lay some of the blame for my attitudes at the feet of the books I love.<\/p>\n

\"Cover<\/a>\t\n\t
\n\t\t\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\tBUY ON BOOKSHOP<\/span>\n\t\t\t\tBOOKSHOP<\/span>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t& support independent bookstores\n\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t<\/article> \n\n\t<\/center><\/div>(Minor spoilers for Revolution by<\/em> Jennifer Donnelly,<\/em> Bleeding Violet <\/em>by Dia Reeves, and Silver Linings Playbook <\/em>to follow.)<\/p>\n

Though there are countless others, two of my favorite YA novels, in particular \u2014 Revolution <\/em>by Jennifer Donnelly and Bleeding Violet<\/em> by Dia Reeves \u2014 are unfortunately guilty of the same mental illness trope: that someone is \u201cjust not themselves\u201d on medication, that they feel like they\u2019re swimming through syrup, or that they are somehow buying into the \u201csystem.\u201d In both cases, the protagonists \u2014 one severely depressed and one schizophrenic, respectively \u2014 end up tossing out their pills as part of their character arc, liberating themselves from the negative effects of their mental illness in the process.<\/p>\n

Contrast this with the movie Silver Linings Playbook,<\/em> in which Pat, the bipolar protagonist, initially makes similar arguments \u2014 that he\u2019s bloated and dull on medication \u2014 but by the end of the movie, reaches health and happiness by taking medication and<\/em> making life changes. Why can\u2019t we see more of this in YA?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s frustrating to see mental illness treated as just one more way to stick it to the establishment, instead of as the very real spectrum of disorders that it is. Attitudes can\u2019t change until writers with mental illness make their voices heard, and write their own stories. When we do, it will change lives.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The two or three months I managed to get by on the reduced dose were enough to convince me: My psychiatrist is lying. I don\u2019t need medication. I\u2019m fine. I can beat this.<\/i> Until, of course, I couldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":52,"featured_media":2952,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_generate-full-width-content":"","kt_blocks_editor_width":""},"categories":[57],"tags":[79,58,80,81,82,70],"genre":[],"age_category":[8],"disability":[37,18,17],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/disabilityinkidlit.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/188"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/disabilityinkidlit.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/disabilityinkidlit.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/disabilityinkidlit.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/52"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/disabilityinkidlit.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=188"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/disabilityinkidlit.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/188\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/disabilityinkidlit.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/disabilityinkidlit.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=188"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/disabilityinkidlit.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=188"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/disabilityinkidlit.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=188"},{"taxonomy":"genre","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/disabilityinkidlit.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/genre?post=188"},{"taxonomy":"age_category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/disabilityinkidlit.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/age_category?post=188"},{"taxonomy":"disability","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/disabilityinkidlit.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/disability?post=188"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}